Clutter tolerance: Why it’s different for everyone (and what to do about it)
Do you notice clutter in your home? How about your family members? Learn what to do when the care factor about the tidiness of your home is a mis-match.
Ever noticed how some people just don’t see the clutter?
I have low clutter tolerance. This means that I don’t like seeing things left out or piled up in my home. But sharing a home where everyone has a different clutter tolerance, that’s a whole other story.
It’s not just you
My husband has a higher clutter tolerance than I do. He’ll often not see the things lying around, and they could sit there forever. My son is similar. This can drive me crazy, but over the years, I’ve become a little more tolerant of clutter. And my husband has become better at putting things away, because he knows how stressful it is for me.
I know that having visual clutter impacts my mental health. He’s explained that he genuinely doesn’t see the mess, or that tidying simply isn’t logical to him in the moment. Neither of us is wrong. We just experience our space differently.
When you’re not living alone
I see this dynamic a lot with clients. When everyone in a home has a different clutter tolerance, it can have a major impact on relationships and the overall dynamic of the household.
Here’s what’s important to understand: people with high clutter tolerance aren’t purposely being disruptive. They just don’t see it, or it isn’t a priority for them.
For people like me with low clutter tolerance, every single thing left out feels irritating. It genuinely makes relaxation impossible. I tell my family that the reason I’m feeling on edge is because I can’t switch off in a space where things aren’t put away. It’s not nagging, it’s a need.
It’s all about compromise
We’ve had success by allowing clutter in certain areas. In our previous home, my husband had a room with a door I could shut so I didn’t have to look at the chaos. I didn’t care what went on in there, as long as there were no dirty plates (mugs growing mould is a firm no from me).
Open communication is key. I explain to my husband when something is doing my head in, even if I haven’t figured out a solution yet.
It’s a bit harder in our current open-plan house, but I am more tolerant now. We do have a rule of cleaning up the kitchen before bed, so that we don’t have to come down in the morning to dirty dishes.
And, honestly, I have plenty of my own clutter too. I have boxes of donations, and work supplies sitting in the entryway that drives me nuts, but we don’t have an appropriate space to store them. It’s an ongoing problem to solve with our current home.
A simple exercise to try tonight
Do a quick check-in around the table at dinner time. Ask everyone:
On a scale of one to five, how tolerant are you of having things out and not put away?”
You might be surprised at how different everyone’s answers are. And that conversation alone can shift the dynamic from frustration to understanding.
At Reclaim Your Space, we help families navigate these differences and find systems that work for everyone in the home. Because a home should feel good for all the people living in it.
Living by yourself
Even if you live by yourself and have total autonomy in your space, clutter can still be an issue. You might hate the clutter, but it can be hard to stay on top of it. You might be neurodivergent, or may not be in the best mental or physical health. There are lots of reasons that can impact your ability to set-up your space the way you want to.
Need help corralling your clutter?
Here’s the thing, despite having a low clutter tolerance, I LOVE going into cluttered homes. Because I know I can make a big impact in a short amount of time. People are often surprised at how much we get done at Reclaim Your Space. The more clutter there is, the more we accomplish!
If you need some help in your home, get in touch today.
Don’t need help right now?