How to downsize without losing what matters

Downsizing isn’t just about moving

Downsizing is more about decisions than boxes. It’s not just the stuff, it’s all the emotions and memories tied up with your family home and belongings.

For most people, downsizing isn’t just a change of address. It’s a change of life. After decades in the family home, with rooms filled with memories, it can feel impossible to know where to start. And making choices about stuff that relates to dreams, hopes and ambitions that didn’t quite come true can be a lot emotionally.

If you’re downsizing to 30% less space, how are you going to make intentional, sensitive decisions about your belongings?

How to downsize with my simple decluttering framework

A simple framework I often share when helping people to downsize, is to look at your belongings in three categories:

• Past: items connected to memories, old jobs or old hobbies.
• Present: what you actually use and enjoy now.
• Future: aspirational projects (“I’ll fix this lamp one day” or “I’ll read those cookbooks when I retire”).

What % of your stuff is from your past, present, or future? If you’re downsizing to 30% less space, will this come out of your past, present or future items, or a more even split?

How to curate memories when downsizing

Items from your past are generally those sentimental items that we all struggle to let go of. It might be stuff from your childhood or past jobs, your own children’s stuff or inherited items.

So have a think now, what percentage of your current stuff is from your past? And in your new home, how much space do you want to allocate to this category?

The main strategy for downsizing these ‘past’ or sentimental items is to be a curator. 

When you have a better understanding of how you feel about your stuff, you can curate what you keep, and find ways to keep the value or memories of items that you might let go of. Everything has sentimental value, but if everything’s sentimental, then nothing really is and your memories and thoughts can be overwhelming.

Don’t keep your best stuff for special occasions

Perhaps you have a 32 place dinner-set that never sees the light of day, but it was your grandmother’s so you don’t want to get rid of it. You can either commit to getting it out and using it for everyday use, or just pick one or two items from it that you can either use or display. Keep one teacup and saucer you love and use it daily, rather than storing the full dinner set in a cupboard. Curate memories, don’t drown in them.

You can also give the other matching teacups and saucers to people you love, and deepen your relationship with them!

Be practical when making downsizing decisions

Moving from a big family home to a smaller unit means the maths matters. If your new space is 30% smaller, something has to go. Floorplans help you decide which furniture fits and which won’t.

What does your ideal home look like? A comfy chair for afternoon book and cuppa time? Or a big couch with a coffee table with a lolly jar for the grandkids? Or perhaps a tricked-out kitchen for the fun baking and cooking you’re wanting to do?

Do you have any rooms full of “stuff” that need to be assessed? Backup things that are just taking up space? Barbecue items that you never ended up using? Multiple Christmas trees or lost boxes of decorations? Are these still important to you?

Think about lifestyle shifts too

If you’re moving into a retirement village where there’s a handyman on site, you don’t need a garage full of tools. If you’re only entertaining a few people now, you don’t need 30 placemats. How many people are in your family, and how many placemats do you think you would use?

If you’re moving from a house to an apartment, there may also be shared facilities that will cancel out some of the outdoor items you have. Some venues even have a shared party area!

Our downsizing services include practical planning, like mapping furniture to floorplans, so you know what will fit in your new space. Downsizing is about matching your stuff to your new life.

Earn some extra cash

You can also look for items to sell, and use the money to replace items you are neutral about with things you love. Look at the broken and unused items and ask if it serves your life today.

Downsizing doesn’t have to feel like loss. It’s also a chance to treat yourself. A new dinner set that fits the dishwasher, a lighter frying pan that’s easier on your wrists, fresh bedding for your new room. You’re allowed to have nice things. The real beauty is that you get to decide what tomorrow looks like.

Too much “future stuff” creates guilt and overwhelm

Every time you look at something that has needed fixing for months or even years, you are reminded that you haven’t actually found the time! Your stuff is here to support you in enjoying your life, not to drag away your mental energy and overwhelm you.

How to downsize your future stuff means taking a hard look at anything in your “Future” category, and consider if you really will find the time to fix the lamp. Or maybe add a trip to the local Men’s shed or Fix-It Cafe to your calendar, and see if someone can help you while you make friends and have a coffee.

These days recipes are one of the main things Google is used for – do you really need printed books anymore? If you’re still determined, then slot a half an hour time into your calendar to sit down and read the books for pleasure.

How to downsize stuff without guilt

Many people hope their kids will want their collections, such as crystal glasses, china sets, or their collection of cat ornaments. The reality? Often, they don’t. And that can feel like rejection.

We’re now living longer, and marrying later. Our adult children are often in very established homes with families and assets of their own, and by the time you’re ready to let go of your stuff, they often have everything they need.

Taking the time to feel the emotions around a special set of crystal champagne flutes, or to ponder their beauty while you decide what to do with them is another way of paying respect to the time, money and thought you’ve put into your belongings. Talking about them will refresh your emotions, and perhaps help you move towards letting it go from your life.

Other people’s memories aren’t your responsibility. Limit memories per person, per container.

The items don’t hold the memory – you do

Don’t forget, you can always take photos and videos of your belongings. If something is particularly meaningful for you, perhaps use it for inspiration to create a memoir or book of your important items and memories. You can do this very easily with most phones these days!

Chronicle memories, journal about your feelings and thoughts, take photos, keep squares of fabric, or write the stories in ways that are meaningful to you. Your memories don’t have to be trapped in a physical thing to be enjoyed or understood.

When you are ready, donating, recycling, or rehoming isn’t disrespectful. It can be releasing your beautiful items to a new life.

You don’t have to downsize alone

Selecting what goes with you into your new life can be a lot, but it’s always worth it. You feel fresher, lighter, and less burdened.

Getting rid of stuff takes a lot of time, and it’s exhausting, physically and mentally. Decision fatigue is real. Starting early and being prepared for the costs will help make the process easier on you and your family.

Sometimes what people really need is someone beside them saying, you’re doing okay, let’s keep going. It’s not just about the stuff. It’s about having support in the process.

That’s where working with a professional helps. Someone like me who is calm and experienced in the unique chaos of memories, feelings and stuff.

I guarantee that I can guide you through, keep things moving, and make the process less overwhelming.

Downsizing isn’t just about a smaller home. It’s about creating the right home for the life you want now.

Ready to downsize with less stress and more support?

Get in touch today!